Paraphrase

{C}v  {C}{C}{C}{C}In some cultures = In some parts of the world

{C}v  {C}{C}{C}often = commonly

{C}v  {C}{C}{C}{C}achieve anything = be successful in anything

{C}v  {C}{C}{C}{C}if they try hard enough = with enough hard work

Thesis Statement

Advantage: this message may drive some children to be high achievers

Disadvantage: for the majority it is likely to be unrealistic and lead to disappointment

Introduction Paragraph

In some parts of the world, children are commonly told they can be successful in anything with enough hard work. I believe that although this message may drive some children to be high achievers, for the majority it is likely to be unrealistic and lead to disappointment.