اساتید تصحیح

P Karimi holds an MA in TEFL from IAU in Tehran, Iran. He has several years of teaching EFL at various levels. Having finished his MA in March 2012, he has been teaching in four English skills, especially writing, in Iran. During his career, he has achieved vast experience of developing students' knowledge, skills, and attitude.

 بسته های تصحیح

  • IELTS Writing - Task 2

  • * One Task 2
  • *Task 2 essay must be less than 350 words
  • نوع تصحیح
  • 3       روز
  • نمونه تصحیح
  • ظرفیت
       6 سفارش
  • تخفیف
  • قیمت نهایی
       120000 تومان
  • سفارش

نظرات زبان آموزان بر کیفیت تصحیح استاد Karimi

Sanaz soleymani thank you for correction. it was greatly useful with great ideas on how to improve. I will back to you again to give me more excellent advice
sara tohidi سلام وقتتون به خیر. در پاراگراف 2 شرح داده بودم که فیلم های جنایی به ما آدما نشون می دن که شخصیت لزوما سیاه یا سفید نیست و در نتیجه گیری گفته بودم که این درس رو به ما می دن ولی شما اون پاراگراف رو نخوندید. امیدوارم مصحح آیلتس متن پاراگراف رو بخونه. من راضی نبودم و توقع داشتم جملاتم اگر سیمپل هست گفته می شد که با این کامپلکس جایگزین کن. من بسته شما رو به هیچ کس پیشنهاد نمی دم.
Teacher Karimi سلام خانم توحیدی. ممنون از کامنت تون در راستای ارتقای کیفیت. عرض کنم که رایتینگ شما طبق معیار تصحیح رایتینگ آیلتس تصحیح شده. رایتینگ شما، به موضوعاتی خارج از بحث اشاره کرده بود. مهارت paraphrase از خود نشان نداده بودید. به سوالات موضوع صریح جواب نداده بودید. رایتینگ شما conclusion مشخصی نداشت. رایتینگی که ارسال کرده بودید پاراگراف بندی مشخصی نداشت. گرامرش تا حدی قابل قبول بود اما در کل به صورت speaking جملات رو پشت سرم هم آورده بودید. پیشنهاد میکنم یک جلسه آموزشی بردارید تا با اصول نوشتار رایتینگ آیلتس آشنایی بیشتری داشته باشید. درمورد جملات جایگزین بنده یک essay در حد نمره 8 هم برای شما ارسال کرده بودم به همراه ساختار که در حد یک دوره رایتینگ میتونه مفید باشه.
برای اینکه به دیگر کاربران هم شفاف سازی بشود، من با اجازه تون رایتینگ تون رو همینجا میفرستم و بعدش یه نمونه پاسخ که مقایسه کنید.
سوال رایتینگ شما این بود:

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more ans more popular.
Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular?
What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?
و این هم پاسخ شما بود:
Villains and criminals both on earth or in space movies and animations have become a popular trend in many countries. The fight between thieves and police or between crazy aliens who want to ruin earth and human heroes holds a potential of drama as an essential ingredient for captivating stories. I like these movies as criminal stories have proven to provide a theme for conveying deep meanings.

Body Paragraph 1
In various range of genres for media art, horror, documentary, romance, ..., criminal stories are more exciting and hence holds the capacity to include the other genres inside them. A love affair can be formed between a police officer and a bank rubber, or a TV set around drug dealers can incorporate historic facts of certain periods of a country.

Body Paragraph 2
My favorite movie set when I was younger was "Poaro" by "Agatha Christy" revolving around a genius detective challenged by Intelligent criminals. Later I watched TV sets portraying villains whom turned out to be involved in humanistic activities as their greyer and realistic face was uncovered.

Although there are some people who think criminal movies encourage crime activities, crime commitments is the result of more fundamental problems such as poverty or inequality which should be resolved by appropriate measures. In my opinion criminal novels or movies have lessons for us. None of us is pure white or totally black. We all stand in a wide range of grey. The most important is our movement towards being responsible citizens and caring individuals. This is the message most of these stories hold.

257 words
Task Response: 4
Coherence and Cohesion:4
Lexical Resource:6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
Overall: 4.5


حالا با این سمپل استاد Kevin مقایسه کنید:

Currently, crime fiction in books and on TV is becoming increasingly popular in many parts of the world. I believe that this is due to their escapist and dramatic nature which in my view can be used to give a moral lesson that there is more trouble than benefit from committing a crime.

Body Paragraph 1
For many people, reading and watching television are entertaining distractions to help them escape their humdrum daily lives. As the crime genre provides plenty of thrills, it is not surprising that this type of material is popular. For example, as a child, I really liked reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s “Sherlock Holmes” mysteries and watching the black and white Holmes movies on TV. The intricate plotting, clever detective work, the excitement of how Holmes and Watson were always in danger was most satisfying to me and to the millions of others who have followed their adventures through the years.

Body Paragraph 2
Thrills aside, one of the most appealing aspects in crime dramas is the moral certainty and satisfaction in justice being done. That is, in almost all of these books and shows the criminal is unmasked and captured, regardless of how clever they might be. For example, in all the Sherlock Holmes stories that I can remember, only one “villain”, Irene Adler, who managed to escape him, and she was merely a victim of circumstances not really a criminal at all. What these kind of stories do then, as well as being highly entertaining, is to teach that being a criminal does not pay.

In conclusion, the rise in crime fiction around the world can be attributed to a desire for thrilling entertainment. This, in my view, can also satisfy the reader or viewers need for moral certitude and teach a valuable lesson that the villains always get their comeuppance.
294 Words

بسته های تصحیح

پرداخت امن